Tara Johansson says she was stuck in a “vicious cycle” of alcoholism and addiction for years, but is now helping others seek recovery in Thunder Bay, which has the highest opioid-related death rate in Ontario.
Johansson, who was born in Thunder Bay and grew up in Peterborough, said she left home at 14 and has been in the northwestern Ontario city ever since.
Every time she got in trouble, “I always ran,” said Johansson, a 41-year-old mother of two.
Eventually, her problems caught up with her.
“Nobody knew how bad my addictions were because I was a ‘high-functioning’ addict and I was a social drinker,” said Johansson. “But nobody drank like I did.”
I’m at peace. I’m happy. I get to come to work, and I get to tell my story and I get to be somebody — a light to somebody.– Tara Johansson
Today, Johansson is over 5½ years into her recovery. She works as the membership and programming co-ordinator for People Advocating for Change Through Empowerment (PACE), which runs a drop-in centre on the city’s south side.
“I’m at peace. I’m happy,” she said. “I get to come to work, and I get to tell my story and I get to be somebody — a light to somebody.”
In detailing how she turned her life around, she recalled when she went to a hospital emergency room with a subdural hematoma the size of a softball, and the doctor told her she had a blood alcohol level of 0.45, which can be fatal.
“I wore that as a badge of armour,” said Johansson. “I would get blackout drunk and then I would go use [drugs]. For me to be alive today, it’s a miracle.”
‘Until they want it, you can’t help them’
She said she used alcohol and drugs — including opiates, cocaine and crack cocaine — to cope with mental health challenges.
She went through several short periods of sobriety but struggled to address the underlying trauma she was facing.
“I was not emotionally sober. I was a wreck. I was angry. I was what they call a dry drunk.”
After experiencing abuse from her partner, she contacted Faye Peterson House and was encouraged to join Alcoholics Anonymous, a program she had tried in the past.
“I didn’t want to do it because I was embarrassed, I was ashamed,” Johansson said.
But she got a sponsor and housing, and in time, “we got down to the root of me.”
“I am the root of all my problems. Yes, these things were done to me, but I could have [sought out] help.”
PACE staff have lived experience of the challenges faced by clients, whether it be homelessness, addiction or mental health issues.
Clients are also provided food, clothing, access to washrooms, showers and laundry facilities, as well as programming. Staff can also refer them to other health and social services.
“Until they want it, you can’t help them. You can love them — that’s all we can do,” Johansson said. “And that’s my job. I love them.”
Calls for more detox beds, treatment centres
Thunder Bay’s opioid-related death rate is more than five times the provincial average, at 52.72 per 100,000 population, compared to 8.96 per 100,000 population across Ontario, according to the Office of the Chief Coroner.
Johansson said she wants to see more treatment centres to reduce wait times, because when someone says they’re ready for help, there’s a small window to get it to them before they change their mind.
“If they’re truly ready and they get into detox, that bed’s got to be ready,” she said.
“There’s not enough. We can send them all away, but if we could have more of that here, I think that would make a huge difference.”
Some of the barriers to seeking help
Kandace Belanger is the manager of street outreach, harm reduction and sexual health at the Thunder Bay District Health Unit (TBDHU).
She said access to recovery beds and other resources is more limited in northern Ontario than other parts of the province.
In her experience, stigma surrounding alcohol and drug abuse, particularly in the health-care system, is one of the biggest barriers that prevent people from seeking help.
Other factors — such as access to stable housing, income security, transportation, medications and mental health resources — also play a big role, she added.
“Recovery is not something that just happens on a straight trajectory. It’s often very nuanced and very individualized where there can be some ups and downs, sometimes even some relapses in use. That’s not a failure; that’s progress through recovery for the individual.”
Belanger recalled a quote popularized by British journalist Johann Hari: “‘The opposite of addiction is connection.'”
“The whole community has a role to play in supporting recovery by reducing stigma, ensuring that there’s access to evidence-based treatment, having harm reduction services available,” she said.
“We know that that serves as a really good point of connection, addressing some of the housing and poverty issues that often keep people in their addictions or increase the barriers to recovery.”
Johansson’s message to those struggling is that nobody is too far gone.
“Recovery is possible. It is within reach for anybody,” she said.
“It doesn’t matter where you’ve been, what you’ve done. Somebody is waiting for you.”
