Inside a community centre in Nova Scotia’s Annapolis Valley, poster board collages display photos of a young woman with a big smile on her face. She’s shown with her arms wrapped around family members, being silly in selfies with friends, standing proud in a high school graduation gown.
The photos decorate the celebration of life for Paiyton Pick, a 22-year-old who was killed in January, her body found inside a home in Centreville, N.S., that had been set on fire.
Her boyfriend, Justin Joseph Benjamin, 28, has been charged with second-degree murder and arson with disregard to human life.
Police say this was a case of intimate partner violence, the latest in a spike that has left six women dead in Nova Scotia since October.
Paiyton’s family doesn’t want her memory to fade away as a victim or a statistic — they want her death to lead to change.
“I want her to be remembered as the carefree, kind, loving young lady she was. She brought joy to everybody’s life,” Paiyton’s mother, Norma Jean Pick, told CBC News in an interview at the celebration of life.
“This world’s a darker place because she’s not in it.”
Paiyton’s aunt, Darby Barnaby-Lingard, said her niece’s violent death has left her shaken. She is calling for more education in schools on recognizing and preventing domestic violence, and increased mental health care in rural areas.
“There needs to be something more,” she said. “It’s sad that it’s taken these six lives to come out, and it really hurts knowing that it was my niece.”
CBC News requested interviews with Education Minister Brendan Maguire, Addictions and Mental Health Minister Brian Comer and Justice Minister Becky Druhan, but they were unavailable Tuesday.
Pick and Barnaby-Lingard said Paiyton started dating Benjamin around a year ago. They saw warning signs that he was controlling and isolating her, and by the time of her death Paiyton wasn’t speaking to her family regularly.
“She was a little lost and confused and trying to work through things and I feel like he kind of played on that,” Barnaby-Lingard said.
Barnaby-Lingard believes the relationship was harming Paiyton’s mental health, culminating in an attempt to take her own life last fall. She went to the hospital, but her aunt said she wasn’t connected to any ongoing care when she was released.
“We had hoped that she would have at least had a 24-hour hold to talk to somebody and try and figure things out. But it was like within an hour or two she was let go again.”
‘We need to change as a culture’
Xylia Fraser, shelter manager of Chrysalis House, a shelter in Kentville for women and children experiencing domestic violence, echoed Paiyton’s family’s calls for change.
Fraser said her shelter has seen a steep rise in demand since the pandemic, and the cases are more severe.
She said women in rural areas face unique barriers and are more likely to be subjected to a type of abuse called coercive control. The control is often psychological and financial, and women may not have access to the support, transportation or housing they need to leave, according to Fraser.
She said the norms in rural, tight-knit communities can also make women feel ashamed and cause them to hide what’s going on in fear of being victim blamed.
“We hear so many times, why didn’t she leave? Well, that’s really complicated. It takes an average of nine times for someone to actually leave a relationship,” Fraser said in an interview Tuesday.
“We have to remember … these women care and love the people that they’re with, right? And I don’t think any of us would want to believe that the person that we love and care for is capable of killing us.”
Fraser agreed that education on healthy relationships, consent, healthy coping skills and victim blaming should be part of school curriculum from primary onward.
She also said mental health care is difficult to access in rural areas, and isn’t affordable to many without private insurance. She said she hopes the province’s newly announced model is available virtually and has minimal wait times.
She, like many other advocates, said a society-wide approach is needed to stop the violence.
“We can’t do it by ourselves,” Fraser said. “We need to change as a culture and really stop accepting this and feeling that it’s other people’s responsibility to do it.”
Pick and Barnaby-Lingard both say they want others to learn from their family’s tragedy.
“We want people to pay attention,” Barnaby-Lingard said. “We just want people to open their eyes and pay attention and watch out for our loved ones.”
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