Cecile Wilkinson always wanted grandchildren.
This past June, she finally got her wish — though it didn’t happen as you might expect.
Wilkinson was sitting on a green bench at the library branch in Tecumseh, Ont., when a young teenage boy sat down beside her.
The 83-year-old lives at The Village of Aspen Lake in Windsor — a seniors’ home run by Schlegel Villages. The privately owned company’s green bench initiative, which started about a decade ago, encourages community members to take a seat next to seniors and listen to their wisdom.
“I just figured that was to be, just sitting on the bench, but then they introduced me to Matthew,” said Wilkinson.
What followed was an instant connection, sparked by stories of Wilkinson’s life and her trip to Walt Disney World.
“It was really interesting to hear like her perspective of going there and seeing something that she’s like loved all of her life,” said 13-year-old Matthew Wilder, who also loves Disney.
It was an unexpected connection and one that’s continued to grow since Wilder and his mom have been visiting Wilkinson at her care home.
Now, sitting side by side, the pair talk and laugh just like a grandmother and grandson would.
“He’s just a sweetheart. I really enjoy his company,” said Wilkinson. “I’m surprised anybody would take interest in me.”
But Wilder can’t believe anyone wouldn’t. —
“I’m learning about like how she lived her life and how it’s kind of similar to how I’m trying to live my life, like she always lived her life with like kindness and I just kinda want to do the same thing,” he said.
Green bench celebrates ‘wisdom of the elder’
The goal of the green bench is to spark conversations between different generations — encouraging elderly people to share their wisdom with younger community members, according to Jenny Brown, director of recreation at The Village of Aspen Lake.
She says it’s meant to “celebrate the wisdom of the elder.”
“[In] years past, the approach has been to settle long-term care homes and other care homes for seniors out of the way and so that they don’t really feel connected to the community and I believe a vibrant community needs its elders. And so we need to be having conversations with them,” said Brown.
Watching Wilkinson and Wilder’s relationship grow, Brown said she “couldn’t be happier.”
“It’s what we’re hoping for,” she said.
Or at the very least, Brown said, they hope it will create a meaningful moment between people.
One time, Brown said, they brought a green bench to Windsor’s riverfront. A young man on a skateboard came by and sat down, joining the elderly resident who was there, she said.
“The conversation he had with that senior at the time was whether or not he should stay in school, which is a pretty big conversation to have with somebody you’re just meeting, but that was an opportunity for him to connect with somebody that could give him an honest opinion,” she said.
Brown said she knows that the seniors walk away from these interactions with a “sense of pride” and a feeling of “I still matter.”
Mobile green bench to hop between community libraries
In hopes that people will continue to connect, Schlegel Villages donated a green bench in October to the Essex County Library.
The bench, which is currently at the LaSalle branch, will be hopping to different branches in the region in the new year.
“We hope that it will build community and foster a level of understanding … between people who might be different from you,” said Brown.
And maybe, if you’re lucky enough, you’ll end up creating a bond like Wilder and Wilkinson’s.
For Wilkinson, whose husband died about a year ago, Wilder’s company has meant more than she can put into words.
“Just having him in my life, it’s changed me,” she said.
“I feel a lot better that somebody wants to be with me.”
“She’s one cool grandma,” said Wilder.
Beaming, Wilkinson said “And you’re one cool grandson.”
