Last Friday afternoon, 16-year-old Nabil Askafe got a call from a friend and told his mother he was heading out.
His mother told him to “eat before leaving,” she recalls, but he declined and said he would be back soon. That was the last time she saw him.
“I always feel like he will knock on the door and he will come in, but…” Hala Tatish said, before closing her eyes and fighting back tears.
Askafe was shot at Jackson Square mall in downtown Hamilton on April 24, less than an hour after he left the house. Police say there was a “small interaction” that led to a larger “altercation” and Askafe was killed. A 14-year-old boy was charged with second-degree murder after turning himself in last Sunday.
Tatish told CBC Hamilton, in an interview translated from Arabic, that her son was loving and funny, someone who wanted to explore life and was always willing to help.
He wanted to travel to Germany and Dubai and, eventually, go into law enforcement.
“He didn’t get to do anything,” said Tatish.
The Grade 11 student at Westdale Secondary School was looking forward to getting older and experiencing life, she said.
“We will get his death certificate instead of getting his graduation certificate.”
‘I didn’t come to Canada to lose him’
Tatish and her husband arrived in Canada from Syria in 2016. Askafe was seven. They were escaping war and looking for a safer place to raise children.
Askafe was the oldest of four, with siblings Niebal, Taha and Baraa. “He was [my] first happiness, he was the first to call me mom,” she said.
Tatish said she hasn’t been able to go back to the mall where her son was killed.
“Or in the whole area. Every time I want to get out of the door of the building or get out in the car, anywhere on the street, anything reminds me of my son. ‘My son walked here. My son was here,'” she said.
“When I lost my son, I didn’t see anything good here. Because I didn’t come to Canada to lose him.”
Tatish said she doesn’t feel comfortable sending the younger ones to school and kindergarten anymore.
“I’m scared. I’m afraid … Maybe I can lose my other son,” she said.
Mazen Askafe, Nabil’s dad, said the family is in a “state of panic,” and uncertainty.
“It’s not just about us, I’m talking about all the people in Hamilton,” he said in an interview translated from Arabic.
A community vigil was held in Askafe’s honour outside of Hamilton city hall Thursday evening. At the same time as the vigil, a separate shooting, just down the street from city hall, left a 19-year-old dead in a CityHousing apartment building.
Askafe’s father wants to know what will be done to prevent further deaths.
“Nabil passed away, but after [him], we don’t want this to happen again,” Mazen said.
Family wants Hamilton to be safer for all children
Mazen said he wants to see action from lawmakers on safety.
“I don’t want to walk into Jackson [Square] or any other mall and see guns in the hands of young people,” he said.
Tatish agreed, saying something needs to be done to prevent the deaths of other children. “If we keep killing the youth, there will be no future,” she said.
On Tuesday, police told CBC Hamilton the gun they say was used to kill Askafe is still missing.
Tatish said as long as that weapon is out there, there may be more victims.
Det. Robert Di Ianni, of the homicide investigation unit, said the confrontation was a “two versus two” situation. He said officers are still looking at evidence to get a clearer understanding of what led to the interaction.
Di Ianni said as of this week, police do not believe the teens knew each other.
Tatish said she believes Askafe didn’t do anything wrong and his only crime was trying to help a friend.
“If it wasn’t for my son, it would be someone else,” said Tatish.
That’s just who he was, she said, someone who wanted people to rely on him.
Community members who knew him said the same, from the hundreds who gathered at Askafe’s funeral on Monday to the many others who have come by the family home to offer condolences.
A fundraiser through the website LaunchGood was also set up to support his family through this loss.
Tatish said she’s received calls and visits from people she doesn’t even know who knew and loved her son.
The family’s home is filled with flowers which, they say, people have been bringing non-stop.
“Even if you go out to the grave, you won’t see the grave, all you see are the flowers,” said Mazen.
‘Nabil should be alive today,’ says graduation coach
Tatish said “everyone is affected,” by her son’s death and the family is grateful for the community that has supported them including at the vigil on Thursday evening.
Friends, family, community and elected officials attended the vigil at city hall to hear about Askafe and share a moment of silence, prayer and lay flowers at a memorial.
His younger brother, Niebal, spoke, as did Michael Abraham, a graduation coach with Hamilton’s public school board who worked with Nabil.
Abraham held back tears while speaking to the crowd, and said “we live in a world of continuous ‘should’ commentary.”
“They ‘should’ be able to graduate, this ‘should’ be better. Nabil should be alive today,” he said.
Abraham said deaths like Askafe’s are “ghosts trapped in the in-between spaces of leaders’ constant false promises,” and said he wishes he lived in a world of “has.”
“Nabil has graduated, Nabil has found a partner, Nabil has built a family.”
